Astrology and the willingness to be complicated and gorgeous.

In most astrological traditions, your rising sign and your moon are considered 2 of the 3 most important signs in your chart. Both my rising sign and my moon are in Cancer.

Cancer feels all the feels. Cancer is soft, loyal and maternal. Cancer wraps you in a blanket and feeds you pie when you’re having a bad day.

When I first had all this explained to me, I latched on. After years of being criticized for being too sensitive, shy, and moody, I finally had language to explain my natural tendencies in a positive, affirming light. It felt like coming home to see myself so clearly inside a category of belonging.

But inside that craving for a label that explained me to myself, I became narrow-sighted. I defined myself by all the tender-hearted Cancer in my chart, and ignored the other important sign in the trio: my sun. My boisterous Leo sun.

Leo goes hard on the dance floor. Leo is a passionate, creative, bold fire. But I spent years denying this part of myself because that double Cancer was running the show.

I thought that I needed a single label; that there had to be one dominant trait that represented me more than the rest.

Because I have a lot of soft in me, I labeled ALL of me as soft. But the truth is that I am Cancer soft and Leo saucy. I am both, not either / or.

Having one characteristic doesn’t mean that you’re only allowed to be that one thing.

You can be fiery and tender.
You can be crass and cautious.
You can be sweet and unapologetic.

You are richly complex. Beautifully diverse. Confusingly (amazingly) paradoxical.

If you’ve been attached to a label that does not represent the fullness of who you are, here’s my advice:

Maybe you’ll need to shed some tears, and get all mopey about coulda-shoulda-woulda for a moment, but once you’ve had your good boo hoo, give ALL your energy to the person you’ve uncovered. The person made up of “both” and “and”.

Pour all your ounces into the vision of your current and future selves. Devote yourself to your complexity and the beautiful alignment of it all.

That old, limited version of you had its turn. Let your present self reign.