Something we don’t say enough in the world of Body Positivity:
If you’ve spent years obsessing about your shape, weight, each dimple and roll (like most women), #bodylove or #bodypositivity can easily become a stand-in. Replacing one obsession for another.
Before, the fixation was on changing the body, and now it’s: “I need to love myself! I must be body positive fierce! And right now. NOWWWW!” From one frantic emergency to another.
As fixations go, this is definitely an upgrade, but obsessions narrow our vision and keep us from seeing the wholeness of things.
And this is the fundamental problem in how most of us were taught to view our bodies: as external parts and pieces, and not as a dynamic RELATIONSHIP between our physical and spiritual selves.
Because whether you’re obsessed with changing your body, or you’re obsessed with being body-positive-sexy, both fixations are rooted in detachment.
Both of these perspectives exist because we’re talking about our bodies like they’re things ‘out there’, and either they need to change or our thoughts about them need to change, but dammit, something has to change!
There’s a hardness and rush to it. So in a way, the exacting and demanding energy of body shame or straight up body hatred hasn’t actually gone anywhere. It’s just dressed up in prettier clothes.
All this is why I’m always talking about being connected to your body. For me, connection is the highest priority with my body and my entire life, for that matter.
Connection is familiarity, patience, trust, listening, compassion.
Connection is about devoting ourselves to knowing the WHOLENESS of who we are, which includes our bodies but isn’t just about our bodies.
If you’ve noticed yourself maybe being obsessed with body positivity or body image healing, see how it feels to shift your emphasis to connection.
Get more comfortable just being with your body. Connection is presence.
Practice listening to it, looking at it, touching it, talking to it. Connection is curiosity.
Connection is everything.