I talk a lot of rah-rah about the need for boundaries.
But that’s the easy part.
You know what’s hard, and not as neatly captured in an Instagram meme? The guilt.
The tightening in your chest right after you put the boundary in place. Because truth sometimes burns.
And because centuries have taught us that the gravest sin (especially for a woman) is to be unliked, so while boundary-setting might be sexy with its “you go girl!” sass, it also triggers avalanches of guilt and self-doubt because no matter how kindly and delicately we communicate our boundaries, someone’s usually going to get pissed.
And with all that “be likable” crap in our psyches, the minute we know we’ve upset someone = cue another guilt avalanche.
Boundary-creation is rarely the hardest part. Dealing with the aftershocks, the fallout, the second-guessing and guilt loops – that’s where we’re asked big questions about integrity and worthiness.
But we can do hard (whole-hearted) things.
Because we are worthy of the boundaries that hold us safe.
Because we are worthy of the honey that flows when not even guilt or social niceties stop us from being TRUE.
Because we are.