Of course you’re single. You haven’t healed your relationship baggage yet.
Of course you’re broke. You haven’t healed your money story yet.
Of course you’re overweight. You haven’t healed your body shame yet.
These are various expressions of The Myth That You Must Heal Your ‘Issues’ Before Your Dreams Can Come True.
Of course, you’ve got issues. We all do. Old wounds. Toxic self-talk. Limiting beliefs. Unhealthy associations. So yes, they need to be healed. Emotional processing and sacred ‘work’ is required.
But how are you relating to your healing?
The myth above has taught us to think of healing as a strict prerequisite for receiving anything new. It often implies that your desires will remain unavailable so long as you have ‘issues’, so don’t expect to receive your big aspirations and yearnings anytime soon. This myth encourages us to withdraw from open receptivity and instead step into a Healing Hole so that we can ‘finish’ working on this particular issue. But that logic misses this important point:
You will always have ‘issues’.
New experiences will bring new wounds. Old stuff that you thought was ‘done’ will resurface. Our lives are constant motion, which is why we are constantly realigning and rebalancing. This is what healing looks like. This is the point of a daily, spiritual practice. Healing (aka: self-discovery + love) is perpetual. It does not get ‘finished’.
So if you’re banking on the idea that you’ll only receive your big dreams once your healing is done, you might be inadvertently pushing away the very things you want – because your healing will never be done.
Readiness is a real thing, and sometimes the Universe delays our desires because there are initiations we need to go through first. But this notion of ‘I’m not ready yet’ can easily become a dream killer, instead of a dream preparer. It also ignores the reality that often the things we desire are part of what heals us; we need to be open to receiving them at any time, so that the healing that wants to occur can fully unfold.
So instead, how about this?:
Receive WHILE you do your healing work.
You can be in partnership and continue to release past trauma.
You can have the best sex of your life while healing your body image.
You can become debt-free as you rewrite your money story.
For some people, this might feel messy. Life is messy. We are overlapping strands of consciousness, not harsh lines of black and white. We are paradox. We are exceptional. We can heal the old and receive the new simultaneously. Yes, we can.
Deep self-reflection and self-compassion makes space for your dreams to arrive. Your prayers and moon rituals matter. Your therapy appointments help. Your mantras and asanas make a difference. But if you are doing all that work alongside a story that says your dreams will sit on the shelf until you’ve been awarded the Recipient of Profound Healing Medal, I mean… That’s like shooting stars out of the sky. Cosmic crash landing.
By all means, go to the workshop. Re-enroll with your life coach. Put yourself in pigeon pose all day long, if you want.
But do it because that’s what your heart is inspired to do, not because you think you’re paying your dues and waiting to cross some “Spiritually Healed” finish line where all your desires will be waiting for you.
There is no finish line. There is no end point. Your soul work is constant. (Whether it’s a heart-expanding adventure or an exhausting misery is up to you — either way, it’s never going to stop.)
Do your work and trust that you are worthy now.
Commit to your healing and believe that you’re already ready.