The #1 question to ask when you DON’T get what you want. (And, when you do.)

The choir was seated behind him, all dressed in primary colors. I remember a royal blue dashiki and a bright red pant suit, with gold earrings. Even though the camera wasn’t focused on them, I could still see that they were nodding and shifting in their seats.

The man standing a few feet in front of them shook his dreadlocks and laughed. Then he raised his arms, palms up, looked out into the crowd and shouted, “How does it get better than this?”

His name is Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith and he was speaking to the congregation at the Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles.

And the question he asked…

That question could change it all.

How does it get better than this?

When it feels like the grand dreams for your future have been crushed, when the grief of saying farewell to a love, or a pet, or an identity, rips you down the middle, this is the question to ask: So how does it get better than this?

A person of faith, a person rooted in the truth that the Universe is always expanding and you are here to unfold into the fullness of your YOU, asks this question.

Ask the Universe. Ask your psyche. Ask the angels. Ask your dog. Ask the ocean, or your favorite tree. Just, ask.

Built into the asking is the assumption that it WILL get better than this. That there is another place you will emerge to, as you move through (and from) the place you’re in.

Screen Shot 2014-03-24 at 11.29.02 AMDissatisfaction is a stop on the journey, but it’s not the whole trip.

Just by asking the question, you are asserting your belief in forward progress, that the universe is constantly re-aligning itself for growth and amplification.

And How does it get better than this? not only affirms your faith that it will get better, but it also opens you up to possibilities and passageways that you wouldn’t be able to access from an otherwise closed down state of woe-is-me and frustration.

You’re not asking “Will it get better?”, you’re asking “HOW will it get better?”. You’re asking for a game plan, a road map – or at least a peek at one. You’re asking God to send you a sign, some support, a resource or two.

This question is a prayer for potential.
It’s a request for sacred suggestions.
It’s an invitation for guidance and direction.

So when things feel super shitty, when you’re in the fresh flames of a major disappointment, try repeating that question. Sing it like a song. Chant it. Scribble repeated lines and lines of it in your journal. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Ask your wisest friend how they’d answer the question for you.

Screen Shot 2014-03-24 at 11.29.02 AMHow does it get better than this?

And on the flip side of being bummed out, this is also my go-to question when I am flying high. When my heart feels like it’s leaking joy and might just burst from the pressure of the bliss, I ask it then, too.

HolyamazingLife! HOW the heck is it gonna get better than this? Ohmygosh, howwwww??

(I usually ask this while doing a riverdance + cabbage patch combination dance, because I’m so high on the goodness of that particular moment that I can’t keep my cultural dance moves apart.)

Because whether you’re at your lowest or your highest, this question reminds the universe that you will not abandon it when you summit the mountain or when you tumble to its deepest valley.

Built into this question is the answer that says expansion and love are your natural states. This question says your capacity for joy is deepdeep and even deeper than that.

On bright nights and dark days, in grief and in ecstasy, when you are breathing easy and when you are denied, come back to this question:

How does it get better than this?
How does it get better than this?
How does it get better than this?