Many relationship experts will tell you:
Let people in.
Take down your walls.
Make yourself more available.
And there’s truth there.
However, some people are hearing so many of these “You just need to be more vulnerable!” messages that they’re starting to forget this:
Some of us need to let more people in, and some of us need to keep some people OUT.
There are seasons and situations that NEED walls. We are responsible for our own protection.
- Maybe taking care of yourself has nothing to do with letting people in and everything to do with finally saying “No. That’s not okay anymore”.
- Maybe honoring yourself has everything to do with sharing your heart with Person A and keeping your mouth shut when you’re around Person B.
- Maybe right now, deep self-love looks like giving less and receiving more.
Distance can be medicine.
Quiet can be healing.
Endings can be liberating beginnings.
And on the flip side…
Sometimes, we use the language of soul and intuition to justify running from the uncomfortable and deeply healing things we need the most.
Once someone has shown you that you are safe with them, that you can trust them, are you allowing them into your journey?
Are you letting a carefully chosen inner circle see your darkest and brightest places?
If you’re an entrepreneur, are you giving your customers and clients easy access to your work?
This is part of how the sweetest love, the richest friendships and the most fruitful businesses are born: when we open up to people who recognize the honor of our opening, and act accordingly.
So, how accessible are you?
I bet in some areas, you could probably open more. Maybe it’s time to let your guard down and admit (to a trusted confidant) what’s really going on.
And in other areas, you might need to install a brick wall topped with barbed wire. And a moat.
Our lives need both: Easy Access and Hard Access.
More revealing and more space. More truths and more silence. That’s the paradox of being human. You need it all.
You are it all.