When I hear someone say “Weight loss is about being healthy”, I want to boil the kettle, serve up a slice of their favorite pie, and say this:
If you devote yourself to building a more compassionate and loving relationship with your body, and in that process you lose weight, that’s awesome. I did. I’m not at all knocking weight loss. Here’s what I AM concerned about:
Do you know WHY you want to lose weight?
And I’m not talking about the quick, habitual answer everyone expects. I’m talking about the down down deeper reason.
Years ago, when I was actively trying to lose weight, I told myself and the people around me that it was all about “health and wellness”, but I was running a Grade-A con on myself.
I had drunk the weight loss kool-aid.
Underneath my desire to lose weight was the belief that if I didn’t change myself, I wouldn’t be respected, I wouldn’t know what true confidence felt like, I wouldn’t be sexually desirable.
I’m not a medical profession. I don’t know what your body needs. And I’m not at all suggesting that weight loss is a ‘bad’ goal. But if you are trying to lose weight, I am encouraging you to also explore the deeper truths in your mindset about body, beauty, attractiveness and social value.
Sometimes, weight loss is connected to a legitimate health issue but I know sooo many people (I used to be one) who are pushing themselves to drop pounds because they’ve bought into the idea that a smaller body or cellulite-free thighs are the most attractive and valuable.
The underlying belief is that if there’s less of you, your life will feel like MORE.
And as my favorite line in Forgetting Sarah Marshall says: “Boolshit. Boolshit. Boolshit.”
When I recognized the absurdity in that logic (aka: no logic), and focused less on losing weight and more on building up my relationship with my body, my body naturally changed in some ways, and not in others.
But what mattered MOST was that my peace of mind and quality of life skyrocketed.
I walk into a room like a different woman now.
I’m so much more confident and clear about my gifts as a writer and a coach.
And that’s more valuable to me than abs.
So instead of putting weight loss on a pedestal, what if your priority became finding peace in, and with, your body?
What if the mission to change your physical self morphed into a mission to free yourself from the chains of someone else’s body lies?
What if it all became about feeling joyful, at peace, and in appreciation of yourself? What about that?
My work is about helping you come up with your own unique answers to these questions, so you can feel better in your body, at work, in your love life, everywhere.
If you want to know more about what your personalized process might look like, click here to email me.
New Year. New Everything.