I wrote a while back about my tendency to pull out my machete (It’s a metaphor! I don’t actually chop heads.) when my feelings are hurt.
But right before publishing that, a voice in my head said:
“If you do this, from now on, whenever you tell someone no, or create a boundary, they’re gonna prattle on about how you’re making wack choices because you’re stuck in your pattern of rejecting people. This will give people license to pathologize your no, and that’s mighty dangerous.”
Thankfully, another voice in my head said this:
- You can talk about your struggles without being defined by them for all eternity.
- You can acknowledge an unhealthy pattern of behavior and then make a ton of choices in that same area that rise above that pattern.
- You can acknowledge that you’re a work in progress without becoming a project that people need to psychoanalyze or ‘heal’ unrequested.
And also: So what if they disrespect your choice?
I’m here for truth – not to be the class favorite.
“No” is a complete sentence. People can judge or make fun of it as much as they want, but that doesn’t the change that you said it, and (assuming that you meant it) it’s valid and stands.
So friends, in a nutshell:
Please share whatever you want. Speak your truths out loud. And if someone tries to chain you to any of it, come borrow my machete. Anytime.