What if self-reflection is actually hurting you more than it’s helping?

Does this sound familiar?:

You notice you’re feeling kinda grumpy, but nothing in your physical environment happened recently to explain the sour mood, so you do some mental gymnastics like so:

Let’s figure this out. Why am I feeling like this?
What was I thinking about a few seconds ago? Maybe I was thinking about something sad.

(After some deep pondering, you remember what you were thinking about.)

That wasn’t an especially sad topic — why would that make me so grumpypants?
Does that topic trigger something from my childhood?
Does it remind me of that guy from my past? You know, that one.
Is there some underlying belief that I’m not good enough here?
Maybe I should journal about this.
Maybe I should book a session with (coach/therapist/healer).
I’ve got to stop everything and fully explore this so I can uncover the real meaning and hidden messages here!

Yes? Has this happened to you?

The seemingly never-ending internal monologue of the hyper introspective ones of us.

We naturally default (or years of personal development work have trained us well) to repeatedly exploring the inner workings of our mind, looking for hidden meanings and cosmic messages.

Uncover the “why”. Drill down to the heart of it. Peel back the layers. (insert your cliche of choice)

BUT.

What if there are some old stories and limiting belief patterns that do not need to be excavated at all?

Or we’ve excavated them so much already, there’s actually nothing left to unearth?

And if there’s nothing left to unearth, instead of uncovering new things so that you can heal them (this is the basic theory behind meaningful introspection), you’re actually not finding anything new. Instead, you’re going over the old stuff, the stuff you’ve already processed and analyzed the heck out of, again and again.

Sometimes, the ‘healing’ up to that point has been insufficient. Sometimes, there is a need for more focused attention on washing that experience or that belief pattern away.

But sometimes, those two sentences above are just the noise you feed yourself to justify staying stuck — because stuck is familiar. It’s comfortable. Predictable.

There are certain situations where all this repeated self-reflection puts us on a hamster wheel to nowhere. Continually rehashing old stuff in the false belief that that is what true healing looks like.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe there is no new information to be uncovered. No new pain to remember. No surprising aha! to stumble upon. Sometimes, all that’s left is to decide to be done with it.

What would happen, if instead of continually digging into your psyche searching for “answers”, you simply chose to let it go?

 
I choose to let you and the embers of that painful relationship GO.
I choose to let the story of body not-good-enoughness GO.
I choose to let the messy finances and scrambling for cash GO.

There are some stories and patterns that don’t need four more years in therapy. They don’t need another session with your life coach or your best friend. They don’t need a trip to Peru with a shaman or a complex Full Moon ritual (again).

They just need you to decide that their time is over. Door = shut.

What are you ready to shut the door on?
What do you need to stop analyzing and just LET IT THE HELL GO?

xoxo
Annika