(Free class!) Body LOVE NOW: How to feel more comfortable & confident in your body. NOW

When you unwrap the towel and start to get dressed each morning, what thoughts most commonly run through your head?

When yet another co-worker, family member, or random on Facebook starts to tell you about “THE” diet, secret smoothie recipe, or super charged workout program, what happens in your head then?

When you stand in front of a mirror, when you stand in front of the person you want to have all the sex with, what is happening in your head and in your heart then?

When I first asked myself these questions, I didn’t like my answers. More accurately, I hated how critical, doubtful, and woe-is-me my responses were.

If your answers made you feel like that too, I have an invitation for you. I’m teaching a free class next week. It’s called:

Body Love NOW: How to feel more comfortable & confident in your body. NOW.

Some of the things we’ll cover in class are:

  • Why tying your self worth to weight loss is SUPER dangerous
  • How to reignite all those career opportunities, relationships and life experiences you’ve turned down because of body insecurities
  • The huge problem with your Instagram feed (yes, body related!)
  • How to create a releasing ritual to unhook from limiting body beliefs
  • 3 writing prompts to help you uncover any resistance to exercise or mindful eating
  • And much more!

DATE: Wednesday, September 20th
TIME: 11am PST / 2pm EST
WHERE: Our private online classroom.
COST: Free!

If you want comfort, joy, and all kinds of confidence RIGHT NOW, this class is for you.

If you want a body conversation that’s entirely practical and grounded, but still light enough for cussin’ and orgasm references, this class is for you.

If waiting on weight loss to feel good about yourself is a waiting game you’re no longer willing to play, this class is definitely for you.

Sign up HERE.

xo
Annika

What to do when the self help stuff sounds a little too woo woo…

If you were raised in a conservative and generally cautious community…

If you grew up in an academically-obsessed family or culture…

If practicality is a high value for you…

Some of the body love and other personal growth practices out there might sound a little cray cray to you. But here’s a thought:

  1. Put your actual risk in perspective.

    Really, what’s the worst that could happen? You trying a body practice that sounds a little woo-woo is not going to cause a landslide, or hurt the puppies. The puppies will be just fine.

  2. Lead with the question, “What if…?”.

    What if great things could happen here? What if something unfamiliar could lead to healing? What if… The humility to admit that the universe is full of lots of weirdness that’s actually really good and healthful, is the height of strength.

Open up.

Try something new.

Take a chance.

Sure it could fall flat, but doesn’t the possibility that it could lead to greater esteem, peace of mind, or body connection make it worth the effort?

YOU are worth the effort.

The sacred discipline of showing up for your work in the world.

In a previous career, I edited people’s books.

I recently got an update from a former editing client. She’d sent the manuscript to her dream agent, who loved it and excitedly signed her. And then…

The agent asked her to re-format the entire book. Same content, but a whole new structure. This meant way more work on top of the hundreds of hours she’d already put in.

She haaaaated the idea of going back to the drawing board on an already completed book (plus, it’s a pretty raw, emotional subject), but after considering it, she decided the agent was right. The new structure would showcase her stories more powerfully, so she sat down, put in the extra hours, and made the changes.

I think about her choice at least once a week.

The humility to change your mind when you’ve been so certain about something for so long.

The courage to return to the dark parts of the past in order to create something to help other women heal.

The early mornings and late nights. The sacred discipline.

The SHOWING UP.

Shout out to all the writers, entrepreneurs, artists, makers and ceiling-breakers who are SHOWING UP every damn day.

You inspire me to keep going.

Keep writing.

Keep using my voice.

Keep standing up. And out.

You inspire us all.

The grand insult of telling a woman that her most magical life requires losing weight.

There are exceptions, but most of the time, I find the suggestion that a woman’s greatest confidence, radiance, abundance (in a nutshell: the most magical life everrrr!) lives on the other side of losing weight, to be majorly insulting.

It’s a diss to a woman’s capacity to have all those things at any size.

It’s a diss to women whose genetics incline them to be naturally (and healthfully) bigger than most.

It’s a diss to women who pushed humans out of their bodies and gained weight during their pregnancy.

And it’s a huge diss to every person whose weight is directly connected to a disability or medical condition.

So if you hear a teenager or a young girl, your co-worker, or even ya mama using that logic (weight loss = automatic joy and a sexy-fierce-fabulous life), I hope you’ll pause and question that thinking.

We don’t need to wag our fingers and preach at people, but an invitation, an opening, a suggestion, a “What if…” moment could bring all kinds of wonderfulness.

And we can always do with more wonderfulness.

What to do if “But your body doesn’t even matter!” thinking just doesn’t work for you.

Some people’s ‘solution’ for body insecurity is to say the body doesn’t actually matter, or it’s at least way less important than your mind or spirit.

I fully understand the comfort that might be found in this perspective. With all the societal pressure to value your body over your intellect, persona, talents, contribution, spirit, maybe minimizing the body (temporarily or permanently) makes sense for you. I hear ya.

But that approach was (and is) so wrong for me.

My early years primed me to dismiss and detach from my body because it was ‘wrong’, so as I got older and began intentionally healing my relationship with my body, Wholeness was key for me.

Wholeness means honoring ALL of me: my mental body, emotional body, spiritual body, and physical body. Instead of relegating the body to ‘not important’, I’ve pumped it up because it’s my Intuition Giver, Reliable Transport, Vessel of Pleasure, Freaking MIRACLE.

I am both flesh and soul.

I’d rather cherish all of my elements equally, instead of creating a hierarchy of worthiness.

And if this mindset doesn’t float your boat, that’s cool. I don’t care whether people think about their bodies the way I do. I just care that we think about them at all; that we’re conscious about the body’s role, because no area of your life isn’t connected to your body – NONE.

Whatever perspective helps you move forward, whatever philosophy helps you step into more body freedom and peace, that’s the path for you. I hope you’re walking it.

And even if our methods aren’t the same, we can still walk together.

Let’s walk. xo

My first swimsuit in almost 10 years.

Many winters ago, I sent this pic to my brother and sister from a Winners dressing room in Ottawa.

At the time, I hadn’t owned a swimsuit in years, and the next day, I was going to wear one in public, with like, PEOPLE n’ stuff.

It was a rush purchase and I wasn’t particularly thrilled with the suit itself.

But I was over-the-moon ecstatic (I mean, look at that eyebrow!) about the progress this moment represented in my relationship with my body.

That red swimsuit was another step beyond the version of me that declined all pool and beach invites, to one who was hastily snapping up a swimsuit so she could frolic at the largest spa in North America. #spajunkie

Moral of the Story:

Every time you do something that feels like a shift away from your old pattern, celebrate THE HECK out of it.

Tell the people who will understand the significance of it, and join you in the cheering.

Every time you choose differently, or talk back to that snarky voice in your head, throw yourself a damn party – literal or otherwise. No matter how small the action might seem, it’s actually all a very big deal.

Not only does it feel good (that’s reason enough, really), but also, acknowledging these milestones fuels us as we keep walking toward the next and the next.

Celebrate all of it.

Every little bit matters.

How to heal body insecurity? Start by telling just one person.

For years, I would not talk about my body.

If someone else brought up the subject, I brushed off whatever they said, pretending to be completely secure and happy in my skin. And then I quickly changed the topic.

Having even the simplest of conversations about my body was off limits for me because I was ashamed of being ashamed of the way I looked.

One of my first big steps forward was simply to speak it.

I told one person. I didn’t unload every single detail of my body story, just a few key memories and feelings – things I’d never told anyone.

And almost immediately, I felt an other worldly kind of relief.

Speaking it aloud meant I was no longer carrying it all by myself. (We are fundamentally, always, wanting community.)

So if you’re where I was in any way, my suggestion is to start moving forward by telling someone (ONLY someone you trust) a small part of your body story.

Speaking these things out loud cracks open a doorway for healing, support, creative ideas, resources and all forms of love.

You don’t have to dive into a massive lifestyle overhaul right away. Just start by telling someone a piece of your story.

Speak yourself out loud.

And then take it from there.

The Body Course:
Sept 2017 (soon!)

Do you know anyone who went from hardcore body shame to bikinis and short dresses by accident?

I sure don’t.

The change in my body relationship only happened when I became deliberate about it; when I decided that I was sick of feeling so damn shitty in my skin.

If you know that feeling (that “I’m so DONE with my body holding me back!” feeling), you might be interested in this:

I’m putting all the details, tools, practices, concepts, resources, EVERYTHING that helped me transform my body relationship into one place. And I’ve given that place a very fancy name: The Body Course.

I’m going to walk you through the exact process that took me from hiding my body (which also includes hiding your true feelings, opinion, ambition, creative voice, sexual self, and on and on) to living with so much more confidence and ease.

It’ll be ready Fall 2017. To find out more, enter your email below.

Craving a posse of new friends? Consider this…

I used to envy those women with 400 ‘besties’.

The allure of rolling with a big posse of women was strong. And that’s fine because there’s nothing wrong with having (or wanting) a big crew.

What is problematic is equating words like ‘friendship’ and ‘tribe’ with volume.

Because quantity has nothing on quality.

Assuming that our friendships are only meaningful if they’re plentiful means that if your BFF is your husband, or you’ve ‘just’ got two soul sister relationships, you might be inadvertently minimizing the treasures in front of you, simply because there aren’t more of them.

But whether it’s one brick or a stack of them, gold is still gold.

A small circle can be mighty.
A single bond can lift you high, high, high.

Of course, want what you want. If you want 6 or 12 or 100 close-knit friendships, keep the vision for that strong. Go out in the world and make yourself available. Throw your arms open to receive serendipities of all kinds.

But don’t cheapen the value of the people already in your corner just because there’s only a few of them.

Cherish who you have because they’re smart and loyal and kind, and also because love (not lack) is the only thing that opens the door to more.

Boundaries, inevitable guilt, and you are worthy of it all.

I talk a lot of rah-rah about the need for boundaries.

But that’s the easy part.

You know what’s hard, and not as neatly captured in an Instagram meme? The guilt.

The tightening in your chest right after you put the boundary in place. Because truth sometimes burns.

And because centuries have taught us that the gravest sin (especially for a woman) is to be unliked, so while boundary-setting might be sexy with its “you go girl!” sass, it also triggers avalanches of guilt and self-doubt because no matter how kindly and delicately we communicate our boundaries, someone’s usually going to get pissed.

And with all that “be likable” crap in our psyches, the minute we know we’ve upset someone = cue another guilt avalanche.

Boundary-creation is rarely the hardest part. Dealing with the aftershocks, the fallout, the second-guessing and guilt loops – that’s where we’re asked big questions about integrity and worthiness.

But we can do hard (whole-hearted) things.

Because we are worthy of the boundaries that hold us safe.

Because we are worthy of the honey that flows when not even guilt or social niceties stop us from being TRUE.

Because we are.